Friday, June 21, 2013

Day 2 Post-Op - Let the Despair Begin

This was a super hard day for me.  My husband had to leave the country after my surgery and my sister was staying for 5 days to see me through this rough patch.  I love my sister, she is my best friend.  I was missing my husband, though.  I was also 2.5 weeks into this injury and feeling weary of the lack of independence.  I'm a horse trainer and I missed my horses and my clients.  The pain was simply awful.  My appetite was absent (I think in large part due to the Percocet).  I was lonely in my bed.

This was the day the doctor said I could shower.  He said let water run over the incisions.  Honestly, the pain was still so severe, the thought of taking all the bandaging off and getting into a shower was simply not appealing.  I thought perhaps it would lift spirits so my sister and I started to remove the bandaging.  I was already in such a dark place of despair, seeing my hacked up knee sent me spiraling even deeper.  I just wasn't prepared for the amount of entry points, stitches, bandages...  I was expected one for the ACL repair and a longer one for the LCL repair.  There were 6-7 entry points and my knee looked hideous.  I couldn't unsee it and it drove me to tears.

Other than that, more Percocet, restless sleep, nausea, grogginess, dizziness...  This was the worst day of the whole ordeal.

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